Tuesday, April 9, 2013


Here's a wee bit of an idea that I've been noodling. I think there's a good story in there. What do you think?


Grnanox was drunk or high or something. In any case, he was in a pissy mood and, as usual, was about to have it out on me. But this time... This time he really crossed the line, howling hilariously as he saw utter dejection overtake my face. 

You see, the truth isn't, after all, simply that I was abducted from my planet to be this creature's pet. No, I had come to accept that as I spent my days plotting escape or overthrow. No, it's much stranger than that: It turns out that my universe was nothing more than the final project towards his doctorate in Practical Cosmology and Organic Life; a doctorate that he failed thanks to us "filthy beasts," as he likes to call members of my species.

Apparently we were a failure as a piece of science. It seems that the reviewers said that our lifeform exhibited signs that Grnanox had contaminated it. He had been ordered to "conclude" the experiment at once but decided to keep me around just for kicks and to spite the sons of bitches who didn't realize how brilliant he was.

While my mind was crumbling from the implications he sadistically added,  "
Well, at least you fuckers weren't a total waste; you have no idea how popular I was tonight with the ladies once it got out that a sentient species thought I was a deity! Oh God, oh God, they screamed! Ha! You may call me God Grnanox! Isn't that funny beast? Why aren't you laughing? Answer me Lucas. I'm talking to you beast!"

One day I shall kill Lord Grnanox.


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